Holding On
by Xx A Misguided Ghost xX
Summary: Selene Rayne Creepton is a normal girl with a frightnening past. Her friends are family, but can they survive old problems? Will secrets be told and will lies ever stop? Only time can tell, but time is running out and no one knows what the future holds.
1. Chapter 1

**Holding On**

January 7th

Day 1

The only thing I could hear was the sweet sound of Eddie Vedder's voice as I thought. I had an English paper due in four months. It had to be a five thousand word essay and I hadn't even began prewriting.

"Even flow, thoughts arrive like butterflies." I sang. I always listened to Pearl Jam when I needed to think. With a heavy sigh, I picked the assignment paper up and reread it like I had for the last hour every five minutes.

_Dear Student, January 1st_

_This essay is to test your creativity. Remember, you are in tenth grade: DO NOT WRITE THIS LIKE YOU'RE IN KINDERGARDEN!_

**You must include the following:**

_5,000 words or more_

_- A beginning, middle and conclusion_

_- First draft_

_- Second draft_

_- Final draft_

_- At **least **5 paragraphs_

**Remember:**

_- stick to the plot_

_- check for spelling errors_

_- check for punctuation errors_

_- check for correct capitalization_

_This essay is due on May 1st! I will not except any late papers and this is 80% of your final grade, so make it interesting! If you have any questions, you can usually find me in my classroom!_

_Your teacher,_

_Miss Blake_

Miss Blake always told me I was an amazing writer, but I wanted this essay to be interesting. I wanted it to be creative, yet believable, and sometime that was hard to come up with. Just then I heard a knock at the door.

"Selene, sweetie, will you check that?" my grandmother, Nana, called for me.

I walked down twenty seven, maroon carpeted stairs to the black painted door. Again, I heard a knock at the door, but this time it was accompanied by a voice.

"Selene, answer the door!"

A smile crept its way upon my pale face as I recognized the voice at once. I put the bat down and reached for the door. I unlocked it and opened it to see my brown hair, hazel eyed friend RJ. He gave me a sweet lopsided smile and I stepped out of the house and into his skinny pale open arms.

"RJ, what are you doing here?" I asked him as I parted from his arms. His eyes sparkled in the sunlight.

"Well, I'm on my way to meet up with Jade and Cliff at the movies and I wanted to know if you wanted to come with me." he gave me a cocky smile and winked. I laughed and looked at him with big brown eyes.

"I don't know. Miss Blake gave us a report to do a week ago and I haven't even started writing yet." I said with a sigh. RJ put on the puppy dog face and whimpered.

"Come on Selene. Let loose, besides, you may find some inspiration at the movies." he chuckled and grabbed my hands. I sighed and glanced back into my open doors. I looked back at him and sighed. I walked inside the house and into the kitchen where Nana was standing. Her hair was completely silver and her eyes where a beautiful hazel. A smile was on her face so you could really see her high, apple cheeks.

"Nana, RJ wants me to go to the movies with him, Cliff and Jade. Can I go?" I asked her. She looked at me and kept the smile on her face.

"Cliff?" was her only question.

"Clifford Ackles." I answered. She looked at me for a moment, but nodded. I smiled with joy and gave her a kiss on her cheek and ran back to the door.

"Okay, I'll go, just let me go get dressed." I said as I slid out of his hands and walked inside. I could hear him mutter a, "yes!" behind me. I smirked and closed the door. I sighed and ran upstairs and into my room. My walls were painted black and red and one wall was a chalk board. My closet was right as I walked into my room on the left, so it was a sharp turn and I stood in front the closet doors. I was wearing a pair of grey sweat pants, a saggy grey shirt and a pair of ankle socks.

I rummaged through my closet and grabbed a pair of black leggings, a dark blue Jean pair of shorts and a red third quarter length shirt that only covered one of my shoulders. I pulled of my grey shirt and stepped out of my pants to pull on my new cloths. I looked in my full length mirror beside my cloths hamper. I smiled and brushed my hair quickly. I reached over and grabbed my blue Jean messenger bag and threw my keys in it and ran out of my room and down the stairs. I slid on my black leather combat boots and calmly opened the door. As I stepped outside, I saw the change in RJ's face. His hazel eyes widened and a smirk crept its way across his face.

"Wow Selene, you look, um, wow." he stuttered and I chuckled.

"Alright, well, let's go." I said and walked past him but stopped short.

"Good bye Nana!" I called before I shut the door. I heard her yell "I love you Selene!" behind me. I reopened the door with a smirk.

"I love you too Nana!" I called back and shut the door.

"Do I need to go grab some cash?" I asked him. He shook his head and guided me towards his shining black Convertible. He opened the passenger side door and gave me a wink. I smiled and lowered myself into the car. He gently closed the door behind me and jogged around the front of the car, his shoulder length brown hair bouncing as he moved. He appeared at the other side and quickly got in the car, slamming the door shut behind him.

"Can I turn the radio on?" I asked shyly. He nodded and gave me a quick smile. I reached forward and turned the radio on to hear the sound of Adam Gontier's voice blasting to every inch of the car. I turned it down and looked out the window. I hummed Animal I Have Become as I stared.

For miles, I could see the lush green trees of West Virginia and smiled. This was the sight I had grown to love, but hate. Just then, RJ's hand rested on my knee. I whipped around and saw his face clouded.

"Are you okay? I mean, I can turn around if you're upset." he offered and he glanced at me.

"I'm fine RJ. Why would you think I wasn't okay?" I asked and then realized we weren't moving anymore.

"Well, to start off, you haven't said a word since we left your house and we quit moving about five minutes ago." he said.

"Really? I was just looking outside. I'm fine Ronnie." I said with a smile. He gasped and leaned over.

"It's RJ." he whispered, his breath tickling my ear.

"Technically it's Ronnie Jason Slate." I smirked. He made a pouty face and flicked my ear. I covered my ear and punched his arm.

"Hey, what was that for?" he asked as he unbuckled his sear belt and opened his door. We were sitting in the movie parking lot and he was getting out. I did the same and looked over the top of the car.

"For flicking my ear!" I laughed as he stuck out his tongue.

"Me, flick you? Never!" he gasped as he covered his mouth and twitched away. I burst into a laughing fit and ran after him and jumped on his back. He staggered under my weight, but slipped his hands under my legs and gave me a piggy back ride to the theater door.

"Get a room!" I heard a voice behind us. RJ and I burst out laughing and I got off his back and straightened my shirt.

"Hello, that's what I've been telling you and Cliff, but have you gotten one? No." I laughed and wrapped my best friend Jade up in a hug. She giggled and hugged me back.

"Why get a room with him when I have you?" she laughed as she wrapped her leg around me. I burst out laughing as I looked at Cliff's face.

"Babe, you're not leaving me are you?" he asked. Jade twisted her head, her dirty blonde hair blowing in the wind and her green eyes gleaming.

"Never!" she laughed and let go of me. I was still laughing as she walked over to him and jumped in his arms and gave him a kiss. After a moment, RJ spoke up.

"What movie are we seeing?" he asked.

"I want to watch Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 2." Jade smiled.

"Really; Harry Potter?" Cliff asked as he looked at her.

"Selene and I have talked about this for months!" she defended and gave me a look.

"That is very true." I agreed and looked at the guys. RJ sighed and glared at Cliff.

"Dude, they are the girls." RJ sighed.

Cliff looked from Jade to me and back again. Jade ran over to me and like total idiots, we both fell onto the sidewalk onto our knees and put our hands in a fist. We pouted and looked at the guys who crossed their arms and gave each other the are-they-really-going-to-beg look. That is exactly what we did.

"Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please!" we begged. The guys sighed and looked at us then each other.

"Alright, okay. I'm in if you are." Cliff held his hands up in a surrendering position and looked at RJ. RJ looked at me and then nodded.

"Okay girls. You win. To the Harry Potter!" he yelled and pointed his hand towards the door. Jade and I smiled and ran after the guys.

-x-

"Okay, I'm starving. That movie was long and between Jade and Selene, the popcorn was gone within ten minutes of the movie." Cliff chuckles as we walked out of the theater. Jade and I had been talking about the movie and how we were angry and happy and excited and sad all at the same time. I heard Cliff talk and instantly held up my right arm straight above my head and made a fist.

"Popcornholics!" I started and Jade joined in.

"Unite!" we screamed and burst into a laughing fit. Cliff and RJ smiled at us and went to their cars. Cliff drove a silver Cadillac and Jade ran after him.

"Hey, do you guys want to stop by Dairy Queen and grab a bite to eat?" RJ called to them. They both nodded and I walked towards RJ's car.

"Are you hungry?" he asked me with a sweet smile. I nodded slightly and climbed into the car and buckled up.

"Thank you for watching Harry Potter with us." I gave RJ a smile as he got in the driver's seat and started the car.

"Hey, it is what you wanted to see and it wasn't that bad. I actually had a good time." he gave me a smile and pulled out of the parking space. I smirked.

"Hey, did you see that news story about that girl? What's her name? Jaycee Lee Dugard." he asked me. The smirk melted off my face and my eyes started to water. He looked at me and his expression changed.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

"I'm fine, it's just, I think her story is so sad. I just don't understand what can make someone so sick and twisted that they take a little girl and keep her for eighteen years, while they rape her and drug her." I said in anger and sadness. He looked at me questioningly and nodded.

"I know, right? Some people are just sick." he agreed.

"Yeah, some people are sick and some people are really good at hiding it." I muttered under my breath. He looked at me questioningly, but kept driving as he turned his attention back to the dark grey road.

"Did I say something wrong?" he whispered. I looked at him surprised but shook my head, my long black hair swaying to the side.

"No RJ, why would you think that?" I asked him, puzzled. He sighed and glanced at me.

"Well, I mentioned Dugard and you got all sad and quiet." he spoke quietly and I had to strain to hear him.

"No, gosh no. I think her story is sad, but I'm fine." I gave him a sweet smile.

_He is so sweet. I love that he takes the time to pay attention to how I feel. Jade is right; he is perfect boyfriend material. _I thought happily.

"I'm not trying to bum you out or anything, but how's your dad doing?" RJ asked, his face showing no emotion. It took me a few minutes to answer.

"I haven't talked to him since he left." I said, telling a lie within the truth.

"I'm sorry." he whispered.

"Oh my gosh RJ. Don't be sorry. He's the one that's gone. Besides, I was always closer with mom mentally." I muttered.

"She died when you were three." he pointed out. I nodded slightly and tried to change the subject.

"Hey, do you believe in vampires?" I asked him. He looked at me for a second and nodded.

"Yeah, why?" he asked as he kept his hazel eyes on the road.

"I'm reading this series called House of Night. I really like it. It's based on vampires and stuff like that." I said. He muttered under his breath.

"What?" I asked, feeling less enthusiastic.

"Oh, it's nothing. I just think the books are a poor portray of vampires." he replied with a wink.

"Okay, what do you think vampires are like?" I asked him. He smirked and sighed.

"Well, first off, I don't think they get freaky tattoo type things on their faces and I don't think they get 'marked' by some older vamp. I do, however, think the sun doesn't really have an effect on vampires. I think they are like humans except, their hearts stopped beating, they like the taste of human blood, and they have fangs." he said, like he really believed every word he was saying. I thought about this for a while.

"So you're telling me you don't think House of Night got anything right, except for the sun hurting their eyes?" I asked, interested in his thoughts.

"I think the blood lust thing is a possibility. I mean, I don't think they're monsters though. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a 'creature of the night'?" he asked me. I was surprised at how much he was getting into the topic.

"Yeah, I think it would be interesting. You never age, right? I would like to stay this way." I said.

"I think they age, minus the silver hair and stuff." he thought out loud.

"I've never heard any of those ideas." I smiled.

"Well, I think it's a possibility." he looked to the side and turned into the Dairy Queen parking lot.

"You could be onto something RJ." I smiled and got out of the car.

"I don't envy them though." he said as he got out of the car and walked over to where Jade and Cliff were talking. I followed him and looked around. The sun was sinking behind the horizon and no one was here except us and the workers.

"Okay, how about me and RJ go order and you girls go get a seat?" Cliff spoke as he pulled his brown leather wallet out. Jade and I nodded and started to walk away.

"Babe, you want an Oreo Blizzard right?" Cliff called to his girlfriend. She turned around and walked backwards.

"You know it!" she called and smiled.

"Hey Selene, what do you want?" RJ called.

"An Oreo Blizzard please." I replied with a sweet smile. He smiled back and nodded as they arrived at the bar. Jade and I sat down at the cleanest table there was outside.

"Has RJ asked you out yet?" Jade said bluntly. I was sitting across from her, so it only took one glance in her direction to see her face was dead serious. I could feel my cheeks getting hot as I started to blush and looked at her.

"No he hasn't asked me out. Besides, we're just friends." I said as I looked down at the table. I could hear Jade snicker at my words and gave me a crooked smile.

"Well, we'll have to fix that now won't we?" she batted her eye lashed and gave ne a sweet smile.

"No, we won't because me and RJ are just friends. Infancies on the 'just friends'!" I said sternly and batted my eye lashes. She laughed which made me laugh. Jade's laugh was simple and almost silent. It was funny because we have known each other so long, that we laugh almost the same. She laughs really loudly once and then it's silent until she runs out of breath, but you can still see her body moving.

"Okay girls, here are your Blizzards." Cliff reported as he and RJ walked up. RJ sat down beside me and gave me my Oreo Blizzard.

"Thank you." I said sweetly. He nodded and gave me a lopsided smile. Across from us, Cliff was sitting down on the wire bench beside Jade and was handing her her Blizzard. She kissed him on the cheek and took a bite.

"So RJ, where is Darcie?" Jade asked. RJ threw her a glare that I didn't quite understand and stayed silent fir a moment. He finally replied quietly.

"She went out of town for some school thing. She should be back in, I think, about three months."

"Are you worried about her?" Cliff said as he took a bite of his Cookie Dough Blizzard.

"Yeah I'm worried about her. She's my sister." RJ replied in monotone, keeping his eyes on his chocolate milkshake.

"She'll be okay man." Cliff replied and everyone was quiet for a while.

_What's with everyone? Darcie is away for some school thing right? Why would RJ need to worry, and what would she he doing that was so dangerous for school?_ I wondered silently as I ate.

"Hey, did you hear that Dean got suspended for getting in a fight on the bus?" Cliff said in the mist of awkwardness. Jade looked at him in shock and RJ shrugged.

"It is Dean. He tends to get into trouble for breathing." I pointed out, trying to break the ice. Apparently it worked because my remark made everyone smirk.

"That's true. Remember last year when we were in gym and he got so mad at Coach Miles that he mooned him? It was so gross!" Jade laughed. Everyone burst into a laughing fit.

"I'm surprised Brea is still with him. He can be a jerk sometimes and she is so sweet." I said.

"True, bit their names sound cute together. Dean Leon Craigstien and Brea Missy White or Brea Missy Craigstien. It sounds good." Jade said. I thought about it for awhile and nodded.

"Dean and Jess would be good together too." Cliff said in a girly tone as he flipped his head back and batted his eyelashes. Everyone burst out laughing until our sides hurt and our eyes watered.

"Well, I like Jade Kay Saden and Clifford Franklin Ackles. Jade Kay Ackles. Clifford Franklin Saden." Jade threw Cliff a warm loving smile and thought.

"Yeah, if we get married, you're taking my name." Jade said matter of fact to Cliff as she ate. He just nodded and kissed her cheek. I couldn't help but admire their love. They had been dating since eighth grade without one 'break'. They were perfect for each other.

"Hey, have you all watched Insidious?" RJ said as he threw his cup into a nearby trashcan.

"Oh my gosh! I jumped like twenty times during the movie. It was amazing! Most horror films have been kind of sucky the last few months, but Insidious was awesome." I spoke up. RJ nodded and we started talking about the movie. While he was telling me about Josh getting his picture taken at the end, I heard Jade whispering to Cliff.

"They look so cute together." she said.

"We have to get them together." Cliff agreed. I sighed and looked at them, instantly seeing their guilt and embarrassment. I smirked and shook my head at them slightly.

"Has anyone thought of any ideas for their report?" Jade asked, trying to lure everyone into a similar conversation.

"I haven't." Cliff admitted.

"Ditto." RJ agreed.

"I was trying to, but someone wanted me to come to a movie." I said and threw RJ a sweet but cocky smile. He looked all guilty for a second, but it faded.

"Me neither." Jade said as Cliff took her empty cup and his to throw them away.

"I actually had an idea. Miss Blake never said if it had to be non-fiction or anything, so I may do something on vampires and unicorns and demons and angels. You know, things that haven't been proven to exist, but a lot of people believe in them?" I said as I finished my Blizzard and threw it away. Everyone nodded at the idea and looked at me. Just then, Water's Edge by Seven Mary Three started playing and I dug through my messenger bag until I found my cell phone. The caller ID said Dawn Smith. I answered it and said, "Hello?"

"Selene, hey, what's up?" Dawn's cheerful voice sounded over the phone.

"Nothing much, just hanging out with Cliff, Jade and RJ." I told her.

"Oh, okay, well I just wanted to tell you that Shane told me that Kevin told him that Rachel told him that Jack told her to tell Kevin to tell Shane to tell me to tell you that Jack wants to have a 'study date' with you." Dawn said in one long breath.

"Jack wants to have a study date?" I asked simplified.

"Yeah, a study date on Science." she giggled. I knew she meant that he didn't want to study books, but I didn't even like Jack.

"I'm going to have to pass on that offer. I need to work on getting my English report started." I made an excuse.

"Okay, I'll text him and tell him you're not interested." Dawn said and laughed.

"Okay, well I have to go. Bye Dawn!" I said.

"Bye Selene, talk to you later." Dawn said and hung up. I closed my phone, threw it in my bag, and sighed.

"Poor Jack, he has no chance." Jade said with a pitying look. I stuck my tongue out at her and laughed.

"Her guys, I got to get home and help Nana cook. The church is having some cook out thing and asked people to bring in some food, so like usual, Nana is slaying away in the kitchen and I promised I'd help." I said and everyone moaned in disappointment.

"I'll drive you home." RJ smiled and, together, we got up, said our good-byes and headed towards his car. We got in his shining car and he drove me home, the world silent and still except for the sound of the radio.

As he pulled in my driveway, I saw Nana outside drinking a glass of lemonade, a small lemon wedge placed on the rim. She was still wearing her pink apron, though it was covered in coco powder and flour. RJ got out of the car and ran to the passenger side, opening the door for me like a gentleman. I nodded and grabbed my bag and walked up to Nana.

"Oh, hello sweetheart! Did you have a good time?" Nana asked as she stood up out of the tan wire chair she had been sitting in.

"It was awesome Nana." I smiled. I looked closer at her and sighed.

"Nana, I can finish the food up. You need to go lie down and rest." I told her, even though she didn't say anything to me. She didn't have to. Black bags were under her soft hazel eyes, visible behind her clear glasses. With my words, RJ reached out and tapped my shoulder.

"I'll see you later. Call me or something okay?" he asked and gave me a hug. I nodded and wrapped my arms around his small torso.

"Bye Selene. It was nice seeing you again Mrs. Creepton!" RJ said with a smile as he walked off. I stared after him as he drove away and when he was out of sight, I walked Nana inside our house and closed the door behind me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Holding On**

January 8th

Day 2

I woke up to the dim, warming rays of sunlight seeping in through the kitchen window. With tired eyes, I looked around and noticed she was sitting at the kitchen table. Sighing, I sat up in the solid Oak wood chair and brushed my silky black hair out of my face. As I lowered my pale hand, I noticed that it was covered in chocolate cream cheese icing.

"Crap." I muttered under my breath. I realized I had, like a moron, rubbed the icing in my hair and on my pale forehead, making it sticky and gooey. I heaved a sigh and glanced at the shining black stove clock.

"My gosh; really? It's 8:03 a.m." I whispered to myself and stood up with a large stretch. I recalled last night and how it had taken an hour just to get Nana to bed.

_I shut the door behind us and locked it._

"_Alright Nana, I'll finish all this up. You need to go and lay down to rest." I spoke quietly and clearly. Nana turned to me, her shoulder-length silver hair swaying with her movement._

"_I'm not helpless Selene." She stated. I sighed and looked at her._

"_I never said you were Nana, but you've been up since five o'clock this morning. Just lie down for a little while." I begged, worried about her. Last time she stayed up late, she went to bed and I went in to wake her up; except when I shook her gently, she didn't wake up. I had been worried about her and started shaking her harder. It took a few minutes, but she finally woke her up._

"_Now Selene, cut me some slack. I may be older than you, but I can keep going." Nana told me sternly and walked away towards the kitchen doorway. I sighed and followed her._

"_Nana, I know you can keep going, but please, spare me some worry and go lay down." I pleaded. She just picked up her old cookbook and started reading a recipe. I could see the red cover of the book and the bold cursive letters saying "__**Generation Recipes**_ _"and the black border. I sighed and walked away from the maroon kitchen doorway and up the carpeted stairs and hallway until I arrived at my door. I walked in, turned my light on, shut the door, and started shedding my cloths, leaving them scattered on my floor. I dug through my Maple dresser drawers and found a pair of black cotton Aeropostale shorts and my black Goonies T-shirt. I threw them on and picked up my clothes I had been wearing earlier and tossed them into my clothes hamper. With a sigh, I walked out of my room and turned the light out. I walked into the bathroom and turned the light on. I dug through my basket in the bathroom and found a white scrunchie. Quickly tossing my hair in a messy pony tail and washed my hands with our Cherry Blossom scented soap, I gave a final sigh and walked down stairs._

"_If you won't take a break, then the least I can do is help you." I spoke clearly as I walked over to her and leaned against the maroon marble counters. She turned her head to me and threw me a devious and victorious smile._

"_I knew you'd eventually see it my way." She said with a snicker. _"_Alright Selene, make yourself useful and get the Blue Bonnet, cream cheese and the cherry pie filling." Nana ordered. Like an obedient granddaughter, I obeyed and opened our black double sided refrigerator to get what she asked for. _

"_Okay Nana, here it is." I told her as I shut the refrigerator door with my left foot and walked over to her._

"_Thank you sweetheart." Nana smiled and took out a stick of butter. I nodded and sat rest of the stuff on __the counter._

_After about half an hour later, I was still standing in the kitchen checking the cherry pie. Nana started to lean on the counter and close her eyes. I smiled a little and shut the oven door; the pie was still a little doughy._

"_Nana, for the umpteenth time, go to bed." I said calmly and sternly. She looked at me, but without a word, she walked over to me and kissed my forehead._

"_I won this." She whispered. I chuckled as she pulled away._

"_Always Nana." I gave her a smile and a hug. _

"_Good night my angel." She looked at me with the utmost love and started towards the doorway._

"_Good night Nana. I'll see you in the morning." I called. She held up her hand and veered left; the way towards the stairs. I smiled a little cockily and checked the pie again with a toothpick. It wasn't quite done, but was getting pretty brown around the edges, so I got the pot holders, slipped them on, opened the oven door, and took the pie out. Carefully, I put strips of aluminum foil on the rim of the pie and put it back in the oven. After about ten more minutes, I checked the pie once more with a toothpick, and found relief when it was done. I took it out, sat it on the table, and started on another dish._

Now as I looked at the table, I saw the pie, peanut butter cookies, chocolate fudge, two trays of peanut butter fudge, a strawberry cheesecake and some no-bake cookies. _I must've been up all night! _I realized drowsily. With a sense of accomplishment, I walked upstairs and down the hallway to Nana's room. I cracked the door and peered inside giving a weak smile. Nana was lying in her four post bed, underneath her violet comforter. With a small sigh, I shut the door and walked into my room, grabbed a pear of holey blue jeans and my red"_Who Killed Roger Rabbit?" _T-shirt, some clean underwear, and a pair of black ankle socks. Carrying my cloths in one hand, I walked out of my room and opened the linen closet to grab a towel. With that, I walked into the bathroom, closed the door and turned the light and vented fan on, ready for a soothing, yet wakening shower.

After my shower, I opened the steamy door and walked downstairs. I drug my feet across the carpet and into the kitchen to find Nana standing beside the table, holding what looked like a peanut butter cookie. I laughed internally and started tapping my foot on the cream colored tiles. Nana spun around guiltily.

"Nana, are you eating my peanut butter cookies?" I asked her, my eyes gleaming with amusement. Nana huffed as she held the half eaten cookie up.

"I had to make sure they were good!" she defended herself.

"Are they good then?" I asked as I stopped tapping my foot.

"Nope. We'll have to keep them here. I will sacrifice myself for the better of the church." Nana teased as she finished the cookie. I laughed and reached towards a cookie. I took one and bit into it.

"Nana, I must say, I did good, though I think we _will_ have to keep them." I nodded as I took another bite. She reached for another cookie, but I tapped her hand. She looked at me with sad eyes.

"Have you had breakfast yet?" I asked, forcing back the bought of laughter that threatened to fill the room. She shook her head and hung it sadly.

"Hey Nana, will you fix some biscuits and gravy?" I asked with a pouty face. She looked at me with gleaming eyes and nodded.

"Coming right up." she said happily and twirled around. I smiled and finished my cookie. I went into the living room, took the Comcast TV remote in my hand and turned the television on to the news.

"Breaking news. A seventeen year old girl was found dead by the side of the road in the 36th Street and Harbor Avenue intersection. Her name is Crystal Rose Hawkins." the female news reporter said as a picture of a tan female appeared. She had long, wavy, brown hair and sky blue eyes.

"Crystal was a cheerleader at Lincoln High School. She made straight A's and was an excellent student. She was loved by everyone's life she touched and will be greatly missed." the girls' principle was speaking. The screen switched back to the news reporters.

"Investigators have verified that she was drained of most of her blood and then strangled." the male news reporter spoke.

"If you have any information on Crystal's death, call 1-800-FOX-NEWS. That is 1-800-FOX-NEWS." The female reporter spoke again.

"It is such a shame when things like this happen." the female was saying, her brown eyes clouded.

"It is a real shame. I know what it feels like to lose a child. I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on another parent." Nana's voice sounded behind me.

_She means Mom_. I thought sadly.

"Selene, breakfast is ready." Nana said quietly.

_She's remembering her too._ I thought. With a sigh, I turned the TV off and walked into the kitchen behind Nana. She already had the plates made and two spots cleared on the table where the white plates sat, steam rising off the food.

"It smells amazing Nana." I complemented as I sat down. She sat down across from me and smiled weakly.

"I love you Selene." Nana said, her face serious. I looked at her and smiled.

"I love you too." I said as I ate.

"I miss her." Nana murmured. I knew who she was talking about.

"I miss her too." I said as I remembered her. I could remember her dirty blonde hair with black lowlights. I could still picture her beautiful brown eyes staring at me while we played. We would put crayons between our toes and color that way and she would laugh with me. I could still hear her contagious laugh, but then the happy memories dissolved as I remembered my father. He was the one that made her go away. He was the one that sent her and my brother, Kris, away.

_I only have Nana now_. I said to myself. Though, with the thought of my beautiful mother, I couldn't help but want to hear her laugh one more time; to sit in the floor and color and have her tuck me into bed at night. I was three when she died, but I could still see her; but with seeing her, I could still see that face. I could see her dying before me. My sweet thoughts came crashing down and it felt like my heart was shattering into a million pieces.

"You know Selene, your father isn't all bad." she whispered slowly. Her hazel eyes were sad, but serious as she took an unsteady bite of our breakfast.

"How can you say that? You know what he did!" I was instantly infuriated as the memories of my past flooded back.

"I know what he did, but he is a little messed up." Nana replied.

"Are you kidding me? He's a little messed up? Try a lot messed up! He's the reason I'm here. He's the reason Kyle and Mom aren't! Why are you trying to defend him?" I screamed as I dropped my silver fork on my food and stood up angrily, kicking the chair back. I could hear it '_thud_' on the floor, but I was too angry to care.

"Selene, I'm not defending him. I'm simply saying you should go see him." Nana said as she took a bite of her biscuits.

"I will never go see him! I honestly don't know where he is now and to tell you the truth, I. Don't. Care! He is **not** my father! I have no father!" I screamed and stormed out of the kitchen and out of the front door, slamming it behind me. I ran down the street and veered right as I started sprinting across a few yards as the smell of newly cut grass filled my senses. I tipped and fell, but quickly got up and kept running, accidentally slamming into a firm body, but I kept going. I bounded into the woods until I was out of breath. Crying, I flopped down on a fallen log as tears streamed down my face. My hair was still wet where I hadn't dried it.

"What was she thinking? I don't care where he is! A little messed up? He screwed up my life! He did this to me! He hurt me in ways beyond belief and she wants me to try and talk to him!" I screamed into the endless sky as warm tears kept falling onto my face.

"Selene?" a voice sounded behind me. I turned around to see a pair of familiar grass green eyes looking at me. His shaggy brown hair blew in the faint breeze and I wiped my eyes. "Hey, are you okay?" he asked me and stepped forward. He sat down beside me on the log and looked at me.

"I couldn't be better." I murmured sarcastically, tears still falling. I knew my face was going to be red and splotchy; it got like that every time I cried.

"Alright Selene, what's wrong?" he asked me gently.

"It seems like every time my life starts getting better, it all falls apart. What am I suppose to do Cliff?" I asked. He shook his head and wrapped his arms around me in a comforting hug. He felt cold, but I didn't mind.

"What do you mean Selene? How is your life falling apart?" Cliff asked. I could feel him talking. As he spoke, his chest vibrated.

"It's just-" I started and sighed. I pulled away from him and looked him straight in the eye. "It's my . . . never mind. Just forget I said anything." I sighed. Cliff looked at me, his eyes clouded in worry.

"Should I call Jade?" he asked quietly, his deep voice filled with concern. I shook my head slowly.

"No, I think I'm just going to take a long walk." I told him as I drug out the word 'long'. He nodded wearily. My tears had slowed.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Cliff asked. I shrugged and wiped away my last few tears.

"If you want to, but you're not obligated to." I said as I stood up shakily. He quickly rose to his feet and steadied me.

"Haven't you figured out that I'm not obligated to do anything?" He gave a small smile. I smiled back weakly and together, we walked through the woods back towards humanity and away from freedom.

We walked in silence as we passed the last few trees and onto a sidewalk. Just then, I heard Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. I looked at Cliff and saw him take out his cellphone and answer it.

"Hey babe." he said.

_That must be his ringtone for Jade_. I thought. I looked past him as he spoke with Jade to the people walking on the street. I saw a man riding a neon green bike was coming our way, while cars slowly passed us. From my spot on the sidewalk, I could see someone riding a skateboard that looked like it had purple flames on the bottom. I was trying to focus on it when the biker passed in front of me. Just then, I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder. I turned around and saw Cliff standing in front of me.

"I hope you don't mind, but Jade was asking why I sounded worried and stuff, so I told her how I ran into you and you were crying. She's all worried now, so she asked if we could meet her at Taco Bell down the road." Cliff said as he tossed his head to the left. I slowly nodded and started walking down the sidewalk.

"You know Selene, I knew there was something I liked about you." Cliff said with a smirk. I looked at him questioningly. "You always throw some sort of drama slash excitement into my life." He gave a small smile. I smiled back and walked down the sidewalk not feeling so alone.

Cliff and I approached Taco Bell and Jade was already in view. She was wearing white jogging pants, I white tank top, black Nikes and her golden cross necklace. She had been pacing until she saw us, and that was when she sprinted forward. I knew that was why she was the star runner in Track.

"Selene, oh my goodness sweetie. Are you okay?" She asked me as she engulfed me in a tight hug.

"Yeah, I'm okay Jade." I muttered as I hugged her back. We stood like that for a while until she finally loosened her grip and stood back, her tan hands still resting on my pale shoulders.

"Cliff told me you were crying. You never cry." Jade looked at me with her jade green eyes.

"I know, it's just me and Nana got in a fight." I said like it didn't bother me. Jade looked at me in surprise, but didn't ask anymore questions.

"Hey girls, would you like a taco or a drink or something?" Cliff asked us.

"Can you get us a large nacho tray?" Jade asked. Every time we came here, that was what we got.

"Yeah babe, no problem." Cliff nodded and started towards the glass door.

"Cliff, can you get no tomato extra sour cream? " Jade called after him. He held up his muscular arm and stuck his thumb up. Jade and I didn't say a word until Cliff was gone.

"Are you sure you're okay Selene? Maybe you can stay at my house for the night. You can cool off and then go back tomorrow." Jade spoke quietly. I looked at her and nodded. Just then, her phone started made a little 'chime'. She sighed, reached in her pocket and pulled out her Red Blackberry.

"It's RJ." She said. She showed me the screen and I read the text.

**Hey Jade! I tried to call Selene, but she didn't answer. She with you?** Jade looked at me and I nodded.

**Hey RJ, she's rite beside me.** It only took a few seconds for her phone to chime again.

**She is! Holy crap, I was worried! Can I talk to her?** Jade looked at me again and I shrugged. She handed me the phone and I wrote back.

**Hey RJ, it's me. **

**Hey, are you okay? I've never known you to leave with out ur phone. . . **

**Yeah, I'm OK. I got in a fight with Nana and just kinda ran out. **I replied. With that, I glanced down at my feet and realized I never put any shoes on. I was just in my socks. With a heavy sigh, I sat down on the sidewalk.

**I'm sorry. Where are you? **

**Taco Bell on Seder Lake Circle . . . you gonna come down?**

**If you want me 2**

**Alright, I'll see ya soon ;) **I sent the massage and gave the phone back.

"Is he on his way?" Jade asked me. I nodded and looked at the Taco Bell door. Cliff came outside with a bag and three cups. He walked over to us and sat down. Jade sat down beside him, her legs spread to the side.

"Alright, here is the nacho platter. I got you a sweet tea Jade." Cliff said and then turned to me.

"I didn't know what to get you to drink Selene, but I've noticed you and Jade have the same taste, so I got you a sweet tea too. Is that okay?" Cliff asked as he handed me a white plastic cup.

"Yeah, that's great Cliff." I smiled weakly.

"Whenever Selene and I came to Taco Bell, we got the nacho platter, no tomatoes, extra sour cream and two sweet teas, no ice." Jade smiled as she took a drink of tea. I nodded and a look of relief swept over Cliff's face. I couldn't help but smile stronger.

_I'll always have them. No matter what, I'll always have Jade, Cliff and RJ. _I thought happily. Jade must've seen me smile to myself, because she poked me.

"You're so awesome!" she smiled and bit into a nacho.

"You're awesome too!" I smiled and poked her as I took a sip of tea.

"I'm awesome too!" Cliff chimed in, a dorky smile spread over his face. We all burst out laughing. Just then, I saw a Convertible pull into the parking lot and familiar faces appeared behind the tinted windshield. The door opened and RJ stepped out. He was wearing a black Nirvana T-shirt and a pair of jeans and a shiny black pair of Air Jordans. He bounded past a few cars and onto the sidewalk, bending down and wrapping me in a hug.

"I forbid you to leave without your phone. Ever. Again." He whispered to me. I could hear Cliff and Jade snicker, but I ignored them. I just hugged RJ back. Eventually, he pulled away and even though he had sounded stern, his eyes gleamed. I nodded and he sat down beside me. We all started in a random conversation about Ice Age and Shrek and about which one was best. We continued it for awhile, and then the guys started talking about the basketball game last night. Jade and I however, started talking about tonight and how we were going to stay up all night. That moment was priceless. All me fears and worries melted away and was pushed to the back of my mind. I forgot about my fight with Nana. I forgot the pain of loosing Mom and Kyle leaving. I forgot about my father and simply relished in this moment, because moments like these, well, they were about to end.


	3. Chapter 3

**Holding On**

January 2nd

Day 2 (later that day)

I slowly opened the front door of my brick house and walked in, gently shutting it behind me.

_Jade and Cliff are waiting for me outside. I just need to get my things, tell Nana I'm okay and leave. _I ran through the things I needed to do. I started towards the stairs and one by one, I climbed them as quietly as I could. It was pretty easy though, seeing as I had no shoes on and I was walking on carpet. I leapt over the last two stairs and landed on the second story floor where the bathroom, my room, and Nana's room where. I tip toed forward into my room and, without shutting my door or turning my light on, started packing my drawstring GAP bag. It felt like it was made out of a sweatshirt and I absolutely loved it.

I was almost done when I heard a sort of shuffling sound behind me, like someone was dragging their feet across the carpet. I turned around to see Nana standing in the hallway, staring in the direction of the stairs. She was wearing her pink silk pajama pants and her pink fuzzy robe. I assumed that under her robe, she was wearing her pink silk tank top that matched her pants. She was holding a small circle pillow.

"Selene, darling, are you here?" she moaned. She sounded sad and alone. I hurried and finished packing my bag and slipped on a pair on tennis shoes.

"Nana, I'm going to go spend the night with Jade." I walked past her and spoke.

"Okay Selene." She said sadly. I bounded down the stairs when I heard a faint whisper.

"I'm sorry." I turned around to see Nana sitting on the top step clutching the round pillow. It was only then, as I looked at her, I saw which pillow it was.

_That's the one Mom and I made together. She sewed it and I drew on it. _Remembrance struck me like a silver bullet. The pillow was white and had flowers and butterflies all over it.

_We had made it for Nana for her birthday the same year Mom died. _I thought sadly. Tears welled up in my brown eyes again, but I blinked them away.

"It's okay Nana, I just need to cool down." I whispered back and went out the door without a reply.

I walked outside and got in the backseat of Cliff's car without a word. Jade turned around and went to say something from her spot in the passenger seat, but kept her mouth closed and turned back around. Cliff reached toward the radio and turned it on. Again, the sweet sound of Eddie Vedder's voice wrapped around me like a soft, warm blanket.

"If something's cold, I want to put a little fire on it." The words of The Fixer spread to every inch of the car and I closed my eyes. The music video played in my head. Eddie was jumping around the stage and singing his heart and soul out in every word. Then, it died away as the song stopped and a new song replaced my safety net. Though it was no longer Pearl Jam, one of my favorite songs came on next.

"Livy High! No Angel!" Jade screamed. This was her favorite band. As the music played, she waited patiently to start singing along.

"Emptiness has a face, take a look at my eyes. Windows to my soul are tempted." She sang and turned around and looked at me with joy filled eyes.

"Trading substance for space, so you can't see inside. Deepest thought are completely hidden." I sang with her. Together, we sang the whole song as Cliff drove us to her house. In that happy moment, I forgot about like and just sang with my best friend in the entire world. Cliff started to hum the song as Jade and I sang, and we all smiled. Then, he turned onto March Lane and pulled over on the side of the road where Jade's house lied.

"Thanks babe. I'll call you tomorrow." Jade said as she kissed Cliff on the cheek and got out of the car.

"Thank you Cliff." I said and got out of the car and bounded up the small grassy slope to the sidewalk where Jade was standing. Cliff waved his hand in farewell and drove off. Together, Jade and I walked through her lawn to her front door. I glanced over to see that there wasn't a car in the driveway.

"Where are your parents?" I asked her as she unlocked the door and stepped inside.

"They had to go out of town again." She mumbled and kicked off her shoes. I followed her inside and closed the door.

"Oh, alright." I said as I took off my shoes.

"I'm going to go put my bag in your room, okay?" I asked Jade as I started towards her twisting, white carpeted steps.

"Okay!" she called as she walked into the kitchen. I bounded up the steps, skipping every other step and through my bag on Jade's bed. I ran back down stairs and into the kitchen. Jade had a bag of _Lays _sour cream and onion potato chips open. I giggled and walked over to her.

"Are you hungry?" she asked me through a mouthful of chips. I shrugged and spun around to her red wood cabinets. I opened the doors from the shining silver handles and scanned the food. I saw rice, peanut butter, chocolate chips, cake mix, coco, roman noodles and, I gasped and reached for it.

"You love me." I smiled as I held up a box of white cheddar shell macaroni. Jade smiled and pointed with her pinkie. She swallowed another mouthful of chips and laughed.

"You can fix that, but later you have to fix me some baked bacon." She said smiling.

"Okay, but you do know you can make baked bacon." I nodded.

"Nope, not like you. I swear, you should become famous for that bacon! You season it and bake it and it doesn't have grease and I love it, so you fix it or no white cheddar macaroni!" Jade said as she ate another chip. I nodded and walked over to her stove. I opened the small white drawer at the bottom of the stove and grabbed a small pot and cookie sheet. With a smile, I closed the drawer and sat the pot and sheet on the stove. I opened the box of macaroni and poured it into the pot and filled it up with water, turning the stove eye to medium-high heat. Then, I walked over to the shining white refrigerator and grabbed a pack of bacon out of the drawer.

"I need some aluminum foil." I told Jade as I grabbed a small knife and cut the pack of bacon open. She clapped and opened the black painted drawer the aluminum foil was in. I pre-heated the oven to 425 degrees and, as Jade handed me the aluminum foil, tore off a sheet and covered the cookie sheet. I washed my hands, dried them, and then one by one, I placed the bacon in a single layer.

"Are you happy now?" I asked Jade with a sarcastic smile. She returned the smile with her own and nodded.

"I'm ecstatic!" she said, though I could tell she really meant it. I waited for the 'ding' the oven would make when it was done pre-heating by stirring the pasta with a slotted wooded spoon.

"What are you going to write about for the essay?" Jade asked suddenly. I heard the 'ding' and put the bacon in the oven and setting the timer for 25 minutes. Then I walked over to her and sat in one of the bar stools.

"I think I'm going to go with my original plan and write a report on mythical beings and animals. What about you?" I asked her as I reached into the _Lays_ bag and took a handful of chips.

"I think I'm going to do something on the stars. You know, kind of talk about how technology has bettered over the last few centuries." She said.

"That would be pretty cool." I nodded and glanced over at the macaroni. I sighed and walked over to it, stirred it and noticed it was done. Jade was already standing beside me with the drainer and a smirk on her face. I smiled and drained the macaroni. I shook the metal drainer and ran hot water to wash away the unclear, starchy, pasta water down the drain. Then, I walked back over to the stove, poured the drained macaroni shells into the pot, turned the heat off, cut the white cheddar cheese packet and poured the cheese onto top of the macaroni.

"Hey Selene, do you like RJ?" Jade asked suddenly. I glanced at her as a stirred the cheese into the shells.

"What do you mean? I like him as a friend." I replied. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks as I began to blush. I quickly turned around and faced the pot so Jade wouldn't see.

"Selene, come on. He is way hot, he's smart and the best part about him is he likes you." Jade said.

"How do you know he likes me?" I asked her in a calm voice.

"How do I know he likes you? Three words; Clifford Franklin Ackles." Jade said happily.

"What are you talking about?" I acted as if I had no clue what she meant.

"Selene, you know what I mean. Where is that A+ student?" Jade asked as she tapped on my head. I batted her away and she laughed as she went to sit back down.

"Cliff and RJ are best friends. Cliff tells RJ stuff and RJ tells Cliff stuff. RJ just happened to tell Cliff he likes you." Jade said with an I-told-you-so smile. I opened my mouth to answer her, but she cut me off.

"Selene, RJ is a great guy. He is sweet and caring and has a good soul. Why are you so against dating him?" Jade asked. You would have thought she would have a smile on her face, but there wasn't one. She spoke clearly and softly and the smile had faded into nothing.

"I just don't want to have to deal with guys right now. I want to focus on school; get good grades, maybe even a scholarship. A scholarship is the only way I'll be able to go to collage and I want to go to collage more than anything right now." I said in monotone. Just then, the oven timer went off. I turned the oven off, got a pot holder and took the cookie sheet full of bacon out of the oven. Though the sight usually made a smile appear on Jade's face, she looked disappointed.

"Thank you for the bacon Selene. It smells great." She looked at me and threw me a weak smile. I tried to change the subject.

"Hey Jade, did you see the news this morning?" I asked her as I grabbed a bowl and got some macaroni. She looked at me and shook her head in puzzlement.

"I watched it this morning. A girl, I think her name was Crystal, she died. She was found by the side of the road with almost all the blood drained from her and then strangled." I told her. Jade did always like to keep up with what was going on. I looked at her and saw her face was filled with fear.

"Who do you think did it?" she asked slowly. I shrugged as I shoveled a fork full of delicious pasta into my mouth.

"That is so weird. Stuff like this doesn't happen around here." She said as she stood up and got a piece of bacon. She took a bite and closed her eyes. She quickly finished it and grabbed another one and turned to me.

"As always, it is delicious!" she complemented and took another bite. I did a little curtsy and took another bite of macaroni. Suddenly, Jade jumped, a look of excitement on her face.

"What?" I screamed at her sudden movement. Without a word she grabbed my arm and pulled me into living room. I sat down on her black _Lazy Boy _nine seated leather couch as she turned the 40x62 inch flat screen television on. She flipped through the channels and landed on the CW. I looked at her until I saw why she was so excited.

"The Supernatural marathon is on starting. . ." she said and drug out the 'starting'.

"Now!" she screamed as the clock turned and said 8:00 p.m. I screamed for joy as she ran into the kitchen. I heard a kind of clanking sound, the sound of wrinkling aluminum foil and her running across the black kitchen tile. She ran in front of me with a plate full of bacon and stared intently at the TV.

"Dean Winchester; proof there is a god and he wants us to be happy." I smiled and leaned back into the couch, slowly sinking into the cold leather. We watched the Supernatural marathon all night long, forgetting about our talk about RJ and Crystal. We forgot it all and watched Dean Winchester kill some poor demon butt.

To start everything off, Supernatural is a real TV show if you didn't know that. I LOVE it and Dean Winchester is my favorite character, though Bobby is a close second. They are currently filming the, get ready . . . are you ready yet? . . . 7th SEASON! *screams for joy* It should be back sometime in I think, September.

Alright, moving on, how did you like this chapter? This chapter was kind of like a filler, but oh well, let me know what you think. Now, to end on a weird note:

**Did you know Napoleon was afraid of cats?** If you didn't, then there is one of the useless facts provided by Sunmist, and if you did, then you wasted 10 seconds of your life reading that sentence!

Alright . . . . because I'm in a good mood today, I'm going to tell you another useless fact!

**Did you know Belize is the only country in the world with a jaguar preserve? **Okay, I will give more useless facts in further chapters. . . . until then. . . REVIEW!

-Sunmist


	4. Chapter 4

**Holding On**

January 3rd

Day 3

I blinked a few times as tears of tiredness filled my eyes. I looked at Jade, who was yawning and stretching. We had been glued to the couch in front of the TV for hours on end, watching Dean, Sam and Bobby face the paranormal.

"What time is it?" Jade asked as she yawned again. I looked around for a clock and gasped as I found one.

"It's 2 o'clock." I said. She looked at me.

"A.M. or P.M.?" she asked.

"P.M." I replied with a yawn. I got up and walked upstairs to get my phone. I looked at it and it said 3 New Messages. I sighed and checked each one. One of them was from Jack, one was from RJ and the last was from Cliff. I looked at the one from Jack first.

_Hi Selene. It's Jack as you may have figured out. . . Dawn gave me ur number. I was wondering if we could study some other time. _

_Maybe Jack . . . I usually have plans_was my reply. I then looked at the one from RJ.

_Hey gurl! I was wonderin if you wanted to go grab a pizza. I figured, if you wanted, we could invite Cliff and Jade and then, IDK, go see a movie or something_

_Sounds great RJ! I just woke up, and Jade is still on the couch, so give us a sec._ I replied and looked at the one from Cliff.

_HEY! I couldn't get a hold of Jade and I'm getting worried, so answer this! _

_We're okay Cliff. Jade and I were up watching the Supernatural marathon and just woke up._ I replied and laid my phone down. I started digging through my bag and pulled out a pair of blue jean shorts, my black and red tank top, a pair of black ankle socks, my black brush and sky blue toothbrush.

"Jade, call your boyfriend! He's worried about you!" I called down the steps and walked into the bathroom to get dressed. I got dressed, brushed my hair and my teeth and walked back into Jade's room to out my stuff in my bag.

As I was shutting my bag, I heard my cell phone chime and noticed I had a new message from RJ.

_Good to know ur alive. . . . you didn't answer me for a few hours. Okay, should I come pick you'll up or meet me and Cliff at Pizza King or what?_

_We'll meet ya there_. I replied and walked downstairs, phone in hand. Jade was on the phone with, who I assumed was Cliff. I didn't want to ease drop on their conversation, so I walked into the kitchen and grabbed one of the Granny Smith apples.

"Hey Selene, I'm going to go get dressed." Jade said as she passed the kitchen doorway on her way up the stairs. I nodded and ate the apple. I had it done by the time she came back down. She was wearing a black halter top with a pair of white shorts and boots that went up to her knees.

"Are we ready?" she asked. I assumed Cliff told her about Pizza King and nodded. I slipped on my black combat boots and together, we walked outside. She locked the door behind us and, oddly at the same time, put our phones in our pockets. I smiled and we started towards Pizza King. We walked for about half an hour and saw Cliff and RJ standing outside Pizza King with impatient looks on their faces.

"Holy crap; we thought you died or something! You didn't answer your phones or anything!" Cliff yelled as we approached them. Jade and I shared a confused glance and pulled our phones out only to see Cliff and RJ had tried to call us twenty minutes ago.

"Sorry, I had my phone . . ." I started

". . . on silent." Jade said and we couldn't help but smile.

"Jade, we've had this talk before. You know not to get inside my head." I smiled.

"How do you know I was getting in your head? Maybe you were in mine!" she countered and we burst out laughing.

"Sometimes you two really creep me out." Cliff said and RJ nodded vigorously. That just made Jade and I laugh even harder. Jade wiped away her happy tears and walked over to Cliff.

"Come on, I'm hungry." She smiled widely and they walked inside. RJ hurried after them and grabbed the door.

"After you." He smiled as he held the door open for me. I smiled back and walked inside. RJ followed me and we walked up to Cliff and Jade.

"You two go get a booth while me and RJ get the pizza." Cliff said as he pecked Jade on the cheek with a gentle kiss and we walked away to find a booth. We found the cleanest one and sat down, Jade on one side, me on the other.

"I can't believe we stayed awake for the marathon." Jade said.

"We fell asleep in the second season!" I laughed.

"It was only the first and second season. Tonight is the third and fourth and fifth and tomorrow is the fifth and sixth." Jade informed me. I nodded in understanding.

"Maybe Nana will let you stay with me again!" Jade smiled excitedly.

"I don't know, tomorrow is church remember?" I asked and sighed.

"Crap." Jade made a pouty face and crossed her arms close to her neck.

"What if you spend the night with me tonight and

"I'll ask about tomorrow. Nana is going to need help carrying all that food into church." I comprised and smiled. She clapped and the guys walked up.

"Okay, so we ordered a sausage and pepperoni pizza with black olives on one half and green peppers on the other." Cliff said. Cliff sat down beside Jade while RJ sat beside me.

"Black olives!" Jade and I said in unison. We ended up laughing again, but this time, both of the guys smirked.

"It should be done in ten." RJ said and started talking to Cliff about basketball.

"Guys." I muttered and Jade nodded.

"It's always sports with them." Jade whispered. I nodded and smiled.

"Alright, so about the report, I was thinking of researching all the astronomers and talk about how they broadened science research of the heavens." Jade was saying. I nodded as she continued.

"Do you know anything that may help me Miss I get A's without trying?" Jade batted her eyelashes and smiled. I sighed and nodded.

"Hipparchus and Ptolemy are two well known astronomers. Hipparchus lived in the second century B.C. while Ptolemy was the second century A.D.. Ptolemy invented the geocentric theory; a theory stating every thing moves around the Earth. Later, Copernicus made the heliocentric theory. This theory stated that everything revolved around the sun. Tycho studied this theory and after he died, his student, Kepler, continued working on Tycho's research. He published a book and sent a letter to Galileo to come forth with his belief in the heliocentric theory. Galileo denied the request. The heliocentric theory defied the mind of beauty back then. The Pope didn't agree with the heliocentric theory and refused to use it and accept it. Galileo started studying the stars and noticed Venus has phases like the moon. After a while, he came forth with his belief in the heliocentric theory and was put under house arrest until his death. That's all I can remember right now, but there are calendars based on the solar system. There is the lunar calendar that, I think it was the Muslims that used it. The whole story behind the solar system is quite amazing." I babbled on and after I stopped, I realized Cliff and RJ had stopped their conversation and had been listening to me. I started blushing and Cliff's mouth gaped open.

"I can not even begin to fathom what you just said, but it sounded really cool." Jade said, her eyes wide. I looked away and RJ gasped.

"I didn't know you knew so much about that kind of stuff." He said in awe. I turned back to them and everyone was nodding.

"There is a lot I don't know, but I guess there are always secrets right?" I said. Everyone's expressions changed and I was confused.

Everyone has their secrets; even me. I reminded myself. Just then, a woman with dirty blonde hair, blue eyes and pale skin walked up with our pizza.

"Hello, I'm Rachel and I'll be your waitress. Can I get you'll some drinks?" she asked politely.

"Can I get a sweet tea?" Jade and I asked at the same time. Rachel looked at us for a moment and nodded.

"Two sweet teas?" she asked. We nodded and she wrote it down.

"Can I get a Coke?" Cliff asked her. She nodded and wrote it down, then turned her attention to RJ.

"I'll have a Pepsi." RJ said. Rachel nodded and walked away.

"What are you guys doing for your reports?" I asked Cliff and RJ.

"I have no idea." RJ said.

"Ditto that. Maybe you can help us Selene." Cliff said.

"You have to pick a topic first." I smiled and held back the laugh that was building as I looked at their surprised and helpless expressions.

"What about Greek mythology? You know, like the Gods and stuff?" RJ asked.

"Alright, sound good." I smiled at him and turned to Cliff.

"Okay, okay, what about witches? You know, kind of like ways our ancestors used to heal?" Cliff asked.

"I suppose you could do that. You have time Cliff. You don't have to make a decision right now." I gave him a small, sweet smile. When Cliff felt pressured, he buckled and couldn't think.

"You'll still help me though, right?" he asked. I nodded and Rachel came with our drinks. After she had left, everyone engaged in a conversation about which was more random; a pink unicorn eating an apple and writing a vampire story or pink and yellow spotted monkeys drinking tea and reading Edgar Allen Poe while watching The Wiggles.

I looked at them and time seemed to slow down. Jade was leaning against Cliff and RJ was laughing. They were all laughing. I began to realize that I trusted these three people more than I trusted myself. Time began to quicken and their happiness seemed to fill the room. People were staring at us with looks that seemed to say, "Those people need some help!" but I didn't care. Jade, Cliff and RJ had become family, and around here, family sticks together, through good times and bad.

**Okay, so Jade's report will be on stars and all the stuff Selene said. . . I knew! Yay ! Also, what do you think Cliffs' report should be on?**

**Sorry this chapter wasn't very exciting, but the next one may have some 'pizazz!' to it. I think it chapter mainly showed how close Selene and Jade are.**

**As always, please REVIEW and let me know what you think and if you haven't voted on my poll yet, please do so after you have reviewed! THANK YOU!**

**-Sunmist**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chematis02- **_Sorry, but you won't find out until towards the end of this book! I'm planning on making this a sort of trilogy. They next book will be called Falling and the last one will be Gone. I hope that doesn't upset you._

**Akatsukifan14**-_Thank you so much!_

**XxBlazestormxX**-_I could always use some help, so if you want to pm message me with some info, hop to it!_

Now for the next chapter!

**Holding On**

January 4th

Day 4

I walked to the bus stop, my red plaid backpack swaying from side to side on my left shoulder. I was wearing black cargo pants, a white tank top and a white hoodie. I spotted Jade standing in a blue jean skirt, fish net leggings and a blood red baggy, long sleeved shirt, and her black and white checkered back pack leaning against the rusted metal bus stop post. I sprinted forward and slowed down as I neared her.

"Selene!" she smiled, her dark red lipstick standing out against her pale complexion. I engulfed her in a hug and she laughed drowsily. I could hear her IPod from where I was. We exchanged a smirk and started singing together, our voices matching perfectly.

". . . Crawling in my skin! These wounds will not heal. Fear is how I fall confusing what is real." I sang with everything I had and heard clapping becoming louder. I spun around to see a pale, grinning face approaching.

"Aloha cheek-a!" I smirked and gave her a smile.

"What's up Darci?" Jade asked as our pale friend approached, her shoulder length auburn hair up in a neat bun.

"The usual; suffering through yet another day of school after an oh-so-boring weekend." She smiled sarcastically and sat down on the sidewalk.

"That good huh?" I asked and sat down to her right. Jade turned her IPod off and sat on Darcinia's left.

"It was amazing! I had to babysit some spoiled, whiny brats while trying to figure out this stupid essay! If I don't make an A, I'm going to flunk English." She sighed and slapped her pale hands onto her blue jean covered knees.

"I can try to help you." I offered. I was already helping RJ and Cliff, but it wouldn't hurt to help another friend.

"No way Selene. You have your essay to work on and if I know you, you're already helping at least two other people on theirs." She looked at me with pity filled hazel eyes.

"You know me." I chuckled and glanced at my phone. It was 7:09 A.M. and the bus was going to be approaching soon.

"I know I know you, now what do you know on mind reading?" she asked and I got a little confused, but soon caught up with her words.

"Not much I'm afraid." I sighed. She huffed in disappointment, and stood up as the yellow bus rolled up. Jade and I followed her onto the nus and sat down in the back.

"Miss Raina, will you put on Are You Ready? By Three Days Grace please?" I called to our brown haired, blue eyed bus driver. She had all the Three Days Grace CDs. She held her thumb up and put the CD in, clicking the track button until Are You Ready? blasted through the bus. The whole bus started singing with Adam Gontier, even when we came to the last stop. Cliff and RJ walked through the aisle quickly and sat down with Jade, Darci and me.

"Good morning beautiful!" Cliff said and kissed Jade.

"Good morning handsome!" she replied with a sweet smile.

"Good morning Selene." Cliff turned to me. I gave him a small hug. He looked past me and his expression changed.

"Hey Darce. . ." He spoke slowly, an utter look of confusion plastered to his face.

"Mornin' Cliff." She gave him an I'll- tell- you- later kind of looks and he turned away from her.

"Well, um, Cliff. Have you figured out what you want to do on your report yet?" I asked him.

"No, not yet and it is driving me insane!" he confessed and leaned backwards into the bus seat. I turned to RJ and was about to speak when a tan boy approached. He looked embarrassed and his green eyes glittered in excitement.

"Good morning Selene." He grinned at me as he brushed his Hawaiian styled black hair away from his face.

"Hello Jack." I gave him a weak smile as I turned to him.

"I was wondering if, maybe, you could help me in science. I have a test coming up and I don't understand anything." He said as bounced up and down with anticipation.

"I don't know Jack. Science is my worst subject and I have a lot to do." I said and instantly felt guilty at the crushed disappointment on his face.

"I'll try to help you, okay? When is your test?" I asked him.

"It is in three weeks. It is the end of the year test and if I don't pass, I won't have enough credits to pass." He said, looking at me with pleading eyes.

"Alright then. I'll check to see what all I need to do and I'll talk to you and set a time." I said and slouched down in the seat. He smiled widely and nodded enthusiastically. He just sat in front of us, staring at me.

"Okay, so, I'll talk to you some point in time and let you know." I said and as if he understood my dismissal, he nodded again and went to his seat.

"He is so sweet." Jade laughed.

"He is really sweet, but I don't like him like that." I replied and everyone started to laugh; everyone except Darci. Her happy eyes were now dark as she looked out the window. The bus came to a stop in the school parking lot and everyone retreated down three metal stairs onto the sidewalk in front of the school.

"Hey, are you okay?" I tapped Darci on the shoulder. She looked at me, but she felt distant. She nodded and pulled on Cliffs' arm. Jade nodded once and Darci led Cliff away.

"Where are they going?" I asked Jade once they were out of sight.

"The basketball coach wanted to see them." She replied quickly. It made sense because Cliff and Darci were on the basketball team, but Jade seemed off somehow.

"Hey, don't worry about it." She said and trotted off to her locker, leaving RJ and me alone.

"What is your problem? Did I do something wrong or something because you haven't said one word to me today?" I looked at RJ. He too seemed distant and disconnected.

"Family issues, that's all." He replied as he glanced down at me.

"Are you sure that's all?" I asked him. He nodded slightly and we went our separate ways to our locker.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I made it through Math and French and was hurrying to my favorite class; English.

"Good morning Selene. As always, you are my first student to class, but you do know you have about nine minutes still?" Miss Blake smiled and I took my seat.

"I know, but I just wanted to get to class." I said.

"I see. Well, I'm not going to stay silent for nine minutes, so tell me how your essay is coming along." She smiled and sat down at her desk and took a drink of Gatorade.

"I'm going to do it on mythological creatures like Vampires, Werewolves, Ghosts, Goblins. Things like that.

"I knew you would think of something exciting to write about! Do you believe in any of these things?" she asked me.

"I believe there is a possibility they exist." I replied.

"Scientists say they don't." Miss Blake was trying to start a debate.

"Scientist also say that animals don't hold a full range of emotion, yet when you go shoot a fox, its' mate will not leave its' side and try to pull it to safety, even though it is already dead. Scientists say that pigs don't hold fear, yet it has the intelligence of a six year old child. It can recognize its' family members just like we can and if you take a six year old and his or her family to a slaughter house and slaughter their family right in front of them, they will know they are next and they will scream with fear, just as any six year old would. Therefore, I do not trust the word of a scientist, for their logic is wrong." I spoke quickly and clearly and I left Miss Blake speechless. I heard clapping from the door and saw Mary Anne, Jacob, Liana and Riley standing at the door, staring at me with wide eyes.

"You argue a good case Miss Creepton." Miss Blake smiled and everyone took their seats.

"May I ask how you got into that conversation?" Mary Anna asked quietly. I could hardly hear her, even though she was sitting in the desk on my right.

"I'm doing my essay on mythological creatures and Miss Blake asked me if I believed in them. I said there was a possibility vampires, werewolves, unicorns, anything in the fictional category could exist and she pointed out scientist have said they are not real." I replied.

"That is when you started your little rant on how science is flawed?" Jacob asked, his voice reflecting how impressed he was.

"Yeah Peanut, that is when I started my rant." I smiled as I called him by his nickname I had given him three years ago. I first met him at Texas Roadhouse because he had been eating peanuts and throwing the empty shells at me. I only had to hit him one good time before he stopped; having a new found respect for females. He laughed at the name and soon everyone else filed into the classroom.

"Alright, today I want you all to read the chapter in _Full Tilt_ by Neal Shusterman." Miss Blake said. We all nodded and pulled out our copy of the book. I began to read, loving this book. I read chapter five and started chapter six.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

**6**

_Road Rage_

We followed the growing glow on the backs of our hands until we came to a shiny black pond. Only it wasn't a pond. In fact, the surface was like smooth black glass. Objects moved across the obsidian face like huge, scurrying beetles-four feet long and waist high-but it was difficult to get a bead on what the were, because they weren't exactly . . . _there_. They kept shifting in and out of phase, appearing and disappearing, as if moving in and out of holes in some Swiss cheese dimension. It was Maggie who realized what they were.

"Bumper cars," she said.

As she said it I could swear I heard my brothers' maniacal laugh amid the squeal of spinning tires.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"Miss Blake, may I go to the restroom?" Liana asked and snapped me out of my reading.

"Go ahead." She said to the short brunette.

"Everyone, have you all finished chapter five? If not, hurry it up because the bell is going to ring soon." Miss Blake addressed the whole class. I looked up to see it was 11:02 A.M. The bell would ring in three minutes and I would be on my way to lunch. I sighed and marked my page, putting the book away and looked at the clock again.

11:04 A.M.

"Everyone needs to finish chapter five and six when they get home! There will be a test on it tomorrow!" Miss Blake said as the bell rang.

"Good-bye class!" she called.

"Bye Miss Blake!" everyone called and rushed out of the room. I was about to leave when she called for me.

"Miss Creepton, a word please." She said, sitting at her desk with her fingers twined together, her neon green nail polish visible.

"Am I in trouble?" I asked her as I went and sat down in front of her desk.

"No Selene, you're not in trouble. I was just wondering what compelled you to write about vampires. You never struck me as the type of person who would read or write about something that has yet to be proven whether it does or does not exist." She spoke calmly and kept her eyes on a few late papers she was grading.

"I have been reading this new series called House of Night. It is written by P.C. and Kristin Cast." I told her. Her eyes locked onto mine.

"So a series of books inspired you to write an essay on vampires?" she asked, her head tilting slightly to the left.

"No Miss Blake, it is more than that. Everyone has an opinion on everything. Scientists think that vampires are fake; that they are a pseudo species, but what if, by some miraculous power, they are real. What if they are just hiding among us mortals, waiting to come out of hiding?" I started to think myself.

"You make an interesting point, but what makes you think they are real?" she asked.

"Honestly, nothing at all." I smirked and she grinned at me.

"I wish you would have joined the debate team. We would have won every debate with you." She said with a regretful tone. She had offered me, on more than one occasion, to join the debate team, but it was never my thing.

"Miss Blake, I like a good argument, but I like to pick and choose my battles; not to be forced into them for the sake of a trophy." I said and she nodded respectfully.

"You still have some time to join. This is your last year of school Selene and we could still use you." She offered me once more, but I held up my free hand and shook my head.

"I pick and choose and I refuse to be forced." I said and with that, I walked out of the white walled classroom and headed to my locker. Still thinking about the minor debate I had had with Miss Blake, I put my books in my locker and headed towards the cafeteria. I accidently bumped into Daisy Pampson. Her light brown eyes glittered in surprise behind her thin glasses as she fell to the white tile school floor.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" she said and then looked at me.

"Oh, um, I'm so sorry Selene; I didn't mean to-"She stuttered as she peered at me.

"Hey, don't worry about it." I said as I helped her pick up her things.

"Are you sure, because I can-" she babbled on.

"Like I said before, it was an accident. I was the one that bumped into you anyway." I said as I helped her up, though she was slow to take my hand.

"No ma'am, I bumped into you and I'm terribly sorry for it." She said, avoiding my confused gaze.

"Daisy, first of all, my name is Selene, not ma'am, second of all, I was the one that accidently hit you and I'm sorry and third of all, why are you so freaked about it?" I asked her as she strained her black and white, knee length plaid skirt and brushed off her black button-up polo.

"Okay Selene, I'm sorry and you are one of the popular kids. People like me, we try to avoid you." She whispered so softly I had to strain to hear her.

"What are you talking about?" I asked her in bewilderment.

"You hang out with Jade, Cliff and RJ. They rule the school and you all have been friends for years. You've owned this school since we started. Haven't you noticed?" she asked me.

"Well, uh, no, I haven't noticed. I just hang out with my friends." I said as I brushed my hair out of my face.

"You're not like the others though. When I think about it, you and jade are actually two of the kindest people I've ever met. I remember the time the whole football team was beating Jack McCloud up and you two stopped it just by saying stop and then you walked with him for a month to make sure no one picked on him again." She reminded me of ninth grade.

"I remember that!" I pointed at nothing and nodded my head.

"Do you remember the time you saved me from a swirly?" she asked slowly and I did.

"Yeah Daisy, I do." I nodded and smiled sweetly. She smiled back and then it faded and was instead replaced with embarrassment. She started to rush past me when I stopped her.

"Hey Daisy, why don't you come eat lunch with me and Jade? Cliff and RJ might be there too, but you never know with them. For all I know they went to lunch at Barnes and Nobles." I said. She nodded and then looked at me.

"How can they get lunch from Barnes and Nobles?" she asked.

"My dear Daisy, it is called Starbucks." I smirked and she nodded. We walked to the cafeteria and got lunch. I got a salad while she got a turkey sub with cheese, banana peppers and Miracle Whip. Apparently, she was allergic to mayonnaise, though I thought Miracle Whop tasted like sweet mayonnaise. We walked over to my usual table, but to my surprise, Jade was sitting next to Cliff while RJ sat one chair way from Jade on her other side. That was where I sat.; in between RJ and Jade. Daisy tensed at the sight and her pace slowed.

"They won't bite." I chuckled and pulled her to the table.

"Hey Selene!" Jade smiled at me.

"Aloha Jade." I smirked and sat down while Daisy stood frozen.

"Everyone, I brought Daisy." I said and got up, dragging her rest of the way to the table and pushed her into the chair beside RJ.

"Will you scoot over?" a whispered in his ear. Without answering, he slid in beside Jade and I took his place.

"What's up Daisy?" Cliff was the first to start talking to her.

"No-no-nothing sir." She said. Cliffs' eyebrows raised in surprise.

"It isn't against the law to call me Cliff you know." He informed her. She nodded jerkily and took a small bite of her sub. I looked around to see I was the only one with a salad. _Three years of being a vegetarian and I'm still alone in it. _I thought with a sigh and poured Italian dressing over my salad.

"Daisy, are you okay?" Jade asked her. Daisy's head shot up and she looked at Jade, nodding quickly.

"You seem a bit skittish." Jade added with a small, comforting smile.

"I'm okay; it just seems weird to not be sitting alone." Daisy said, patting her lip with a napkin.

"Well, it will get weirder because we are crazy." RJ smirked and everyone laughed. Daisy just stared at us with her eyebrows raised in a confused position.

"You all don't appear to be crazy. You actually seem quite sane." She spoke seriously.

"No Daisy, RJ means that we are random and talk about weird stuff. Crazy is just a term we use to express it." I said and everyone nodded.

"Oh, so you are not really crazy, you just act that way at humorous moments?" she asked, pushing her glasses farther up her nose before they fell.

"Yeah, we just act crazy sometimes, but we're really just being weird." Cliff said and was obviously trying not to laugh. Daisy nodded and smiled slightly, her shoulders dropping into a less tense and proper position.

"I heard Miss Blake told you to stay in her room Selene. Did you get in trouble?" Jade teased.

"Me? In trouble? No, she just asked me what inspired me to do my essay on vampires and asked me for the thousandth time to join the debate team." I said and stabbed at my salad.

"I'm assuming you said 'no' for the thousandth time." RJ said with a smile. I nodded and ate.

"Why did you say 'no'?" Daisy asked as she took another bite of her sub.

"It's like I told her; I like to pick and choose my battles instead of being forced into them for the sake of some trophy." I replied and finished my salad off, leaving a few shaved carrots lying in a slam puddle of Italian dressing at the bottom of the plastic container.

"You make a good point Selene. You would do well on the debate team though." Daisy pointed out and everyone nodded slightly.

"I've considered it, but it just isn't for me." I replied, a bit annoyed and threw away my empty salad bowl. When I got back, Jade and Daisy we're talking about Supernatural.

"Oh my gosh Selene! Daisy likes Supernatural too!" Jade exclaimed, looking rather surprised yet extremely excited.

"Daisy," I turned my attention to her. "Are you Team Dean or Team Sam?" I asked as I sat down slowly.

"I am Team Dean. He is smart, funny and amazingly accurate with a shotgun." She smiled and Jade and I burst into laughter.

"What is so funny?" she asked with a small smirk.

"We're Team Dean and even though he is all of those things, we're Team Dean because he's hot." Jade laughed while Cliff and RJ just watched us.

"Hey guys, what 'Team' are you on; Dean or Sam?" I asked them.

"I'm Team Sam just because Jade is obsessed with Dean." Cliff muttered and finished off his sub.

"I'm Team Bobby." RJ replied. Jade and I just screamed and hugged him.

"You like Supernatural?" I exclaimed and he nodded slightly.

"I like paranormal stuff." His voice raised one key in embarrassment, but he still tried to shrug our shock off. Jade screamed in astonishment and utter disbelief. As her shrill cry echoed throughout the cafeteria, all eyes flickered to our table.

"Okay everyone, nothing to see here! We're just talking about a television show!" Cliff stood up, his hands up as if he were surrendering and he nodded slowly, his cheeks beginning to turn red. Everyone started to murmur among themselves and jerkily turning away, casting confused sideway glances at us. Jade was hopping up and down in her chair, but her pale hands were covering her mouth, though you could still see the huge smile she had plastered to her face. As the cafeteria noise grew to the usual, we began to laugh as Jade grabbed RJs' hands, still smiling.

"You like Supernatural?" Daisy was soft spoken and pushed her glasses farther on her nose again. RJ was silent as he looked from Daisy, to me to Jade and then to Cliff.

"Do you?" I prompted.

"Yes everyone, I admit it. I like Supernatural and I honestly can't wait for the newest season to start airing." He smirked and bobbed his head, his hazel eyes locked on mine.

"Dude, I never expected that from you." Cliff shook his head, but smirked. We all, including RJ and Daisy, began laughing uncontrollably and again, all eyes drew to us. Our laughing bout was interrupted by the bell. My smile was replaced by an unwanted frown.

"Woo- ray, gym!" I grumbled sarcastically. Jade walked over to me and we said our good-byes to everyone else. Then, Jade and I walked down a flight of crowded stairs to the fowl, sweaty smelling gymnasium.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

After suffering through an hour and a half of Coach Cales screaming at everyone to run extra laps because we were running like girls, though it was an all girl class, Jade and I, side by side, boarded bus 14 to go home. We walked to the back of the bus and Jade plopped down beside Cliff while I slumped in the remaining seat, which was surprisingly still unoccupied, and leaned against the cold metal siding. Soon, RJ sat down beside me.

"Hey Selene, are you okay?" Cliff called from the other window seat. My head snapped his direction and I saw that he, RJ and Jade were all looking at me with worried eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said, squinting as sunlight blinded me. We were already in the housing development now.

"Are you sure? You seem distracted?" RJ said, tapping my knee.

"Yeah, I'm just tired is all. Coach Cales made the class run, like, five extra laps giving us a total of about five miles." I muttered with a sigh and, accepting my answer, he nodded.

"It totally blew." Jade scowled. I nodded and resumed my window watching.

I didn't realize we were that close to being home, seeing as my stop was the last, until RJ and Cliff got off the bus.

"Bye guys!" I called as the got of the bus. My only indication that they even heard me was that, as they started to disappear behind the ugly brown front seat, they both raised their hands and waved good-bye.

"Hey Jade, do you know were Darci is?" I turned to my best friend as the bus started to move again.

"Cliff said that she wasn't feeling well and that she went home early." Jade said as she glanced sideways at me. I nodded, but was curious. Jade didn't seem right somehow, but I shrugged it off, assuming it was just tiredness and waited a few moments before the bus stopped and Jade and I, the last two students on the bus, got off.

"I'll talk to you later Selene!" Jade called as she went left.

"Bye chika!" I called back and went left towards home.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I stepped into the front door of the house to see Nana reading a Paula Dean cooking magazine.

"How was school darling?" she asked, not looking at me. I slowly closed the front door, kicked off my shoes, sat my bag down and walked into the kitchen.

"It was good. Coach Cales made us run five extra laps today." I said as I opened the fridge.

"Did you learn anything?" she asked me from the living room.

"We were just reviewing stuff." I replied and heard her walk into the kitchen.

"Okay." She said with a long pause.

"You know, we missed you at church yesterday." She said, not looking at me. "Everyone commented on how good the deserts were and they send the compliments to the chef." She added.

"I'm sorry I didn't go Nana." I apologized and grabbed two Snickers out of the snack drawer, handing one to her. She nodded her thanks and unwrapped it, only to take a bite and wrap it up again. I took it and put it up in the cabinet. She always did that. She would get a Snickers and take one bite everyday until it was gone, then she would open a new one. I just ate it, savoring every succulent bite until it was gone within two minutes.

"Are you planning on coming next week?" she asked slowly. I nodded and threw my empty wrapper in the recycle bin.

"I love you darling; you know that right?" she asked me, appearing close to tears. I turned to her and wrapped my arms around her.

"Of course I know that Nana. I love you too." I breathed. She laid her head down on my shoulder and I felt warm tears soak through my shirt.

"I miss her so much Selene." She sobbed and I choked back tears.

"I miss her too." I choked, my throat burning. Every year, I tried to stay strong and act like nothing was bothering me; like everything was perfect in my life, but nothing was.

"My little girl." Nana cried as grief crushed her. Today made five years my mother, Natalia, had died. As Nana cried against me, I closed my eyes and raised my head upward. _I miss you Mom. I miss you so much! I hate that you left. I hate that he made you, but will you tell Jay that I miss him too? _I prayed and I hoped she heard me.

"Nana, why don't you go lie down for a while? I'll make dinner." I whispered and she nodded twice.

"I love you Selene." She kissed my cheek, her eyes red and puffy. I gave her a sad smile and she walked upstairs. I started some chicken and dumplings for dinner and I did something I only did four times a year. I pulled out old family videos and watched them. The first one I watched was the year I had made Mom a birthday card and drew a cookie for her, but I had gotten too dark a shade of brown so it looked burnt. I had promised her I would make her a cookie, so beside it, I had written:

_Happy birthday Momma! I made you a cookie, but it burnt a little. Sorry!_

She had laughed so hard, but she had kissed my cheek and thanked me and told me, "Thank you my love. It is the best cookie I've ever gotten." Now, watching it, I sobbed. With a deep breath, I wiped my tears away and turned off the stove before dinner boiled over. I got down two bowls and put three spoon fulls in each, letting it cool down. I glanced over my shoulder to see my twelfth birthday video. It had been the last birthday she had gotten to go to.

"Open it and see what you got?" Jay exclaimed. He had been fourteen and it was the first present he had gotten me with is own money. It was a rectangle, wrapped in black and white plaid paper with a big purple bow on the front. I opened it to find a pink leather notebook with the words; _I love You_, written on the cover in black cursive.

"Thank you so much Jay!" I laughed and, as I held the notebook in my hand, gave him a hug. He laughed and kissed the back of my head.

"Happy birthday little sis." He grinned and I began to open the next present.

"Selene?" Nana said as she walked downstairs. My head snapped to the side to see her looking at me with sad eyes.

"I'm sorry Nana. I'll turn them off." I said, knowing how much she hated reliving those moments.

"Now, now Selene, don't do that. Just, let's eat okay?" she asked, shooing me towards the still steaming food filled bowls. She sat down at the table and I carried the bowls over, a spoon in each one. We ate in a sad, stuffy silence.

"What do you remember about her?" she asked me once we were done.

"I don't remember a lot Nana. I just remember coming home that one day and seeing-"She stopped me there.

"Well, come on. We're going to let you get to know your brilliant mother." She said and grabbed my elbow, pulling me into the living room and onto the couch. That night, we watched old home VCR tapes and cried in happiness, grief and at the small humorous moments that could bring a sad, sweet smile to our faces, even if it only lasted for a moment.


End file.
